Jonathan Poritsky

Review: Twilight

TwilightCatherine Hardwicke no doubt set out to make a gritty drama of teen angst set against the back­drop of the dreary Pacific Northwest, but a few weeks prior to shoot­ing, a pro­ducer must have handed her a script for “Twilight” and said make this instead. The first screen adap­ta­tion of Stephanie Meyer’s best­selling roman­tic vam­pire series is like a cheap wine look­ing for a bot­tle, which is really a shame because I would surely lap it up if only served prop­erly. Targeted at teenage girls, it would seem my age and gen­der pre­clude me from this dis­cus­sion, how­ever I believe that young women are yearn­ing for much more from their hero­ines, so let’s get started with the nit pickiness.

In the Myers lore of the vamp, these immor­tal crea­tures can sur­vive dur­ing the day, but they must stay away from sun­light or their skin becomes a Swarovski bling-fest, out­ing their iden­ti­ties. The author clev­erly places the story in cloud cov­ered Washington State, allow­ing our anti-heroes to lead some­what nor­mal lives. Hardwicke and co. opted to really roll with the whole con­stantly cloudy thing and make the entire film look washed out and blue, which some­how seemed like an after­thought. The blacks were often milky, as though a Flame artist was con­stantly hav­ing tweaks phoned in through the night. (Don’t mess with a reviewer who dab­bles in color cor­rec­tion). I’ll hand it to them for try­ing some­thing dif­fer­ent, but the exe­cu­tion never meets the concept.

From the col­ors we can move to the cam­era move­ment, which lit­er­ally all over the map. Sometimes hand­held, some­times smooth, but always unmo­ti­vated, Director of Photography Elliot Davis seemed to be get­ting as much cov­ereage of the least impor­tant moments as pos­si­ble on a shoe­string bud­get (a mere $37 mil­lion, empha­sis on mere). Case in point is the wooded reveal of Edward’s true iden­tity (“Say it”) in which we are taken to odd cor­ners of the for­est for con­fus­ing rea­sons. The scene is heavy and could have eas­ily achieved the needed grav­ity with­out the darty hoopla behind the cam­era, but it’s just one of many oppor­tu­ni­ties missed in this film. And don’t think you’re get­ting off so eas­ily, Nancy Richardson and your crack edi­to­r­ial team, this steam­ing pile is every bit your fault too.

Melissa Rosenberg, you should take up whit­tling instead of screen­writ­ing; your abil­ity to deal in wood will come in handy. The leads in the film truly gave their all, but were given so lit­tle to work with, leav­ing them fin­ish­ing off unin­ter­est­ing dia­logue with gig­gles and stares, try­ing to make some­thing out of noth­ing. Teenagers really are more inter­est­ing than that, I promise.

And then there is the issue of spe­cial effects, none of which were all too spe­cial. In gen­eral, any run­ning, jump­ing, or other neato vam­pire tricks per­formed onscreen were rem­i­ni­scient of an elemetary school pro­duc­tion of Peter Pan. There are good ways to use spe­cial effects and there are bad ones. While every­one gets an E for effort in the try­ing to stretch that $37 mil­lion to make some­thing mag­i­cal, the F/X team really couldn’t get any­thing use­ful done on this. Even the music of Carter Burwell, who I love, was hack­neyed and repet­i­tive. I’m con­vinced he dusted off some of his com­po­si­tions for Being John Malkovich and handed them in for this film.

Look, in the end, the joke is on all of us. Ms. Hardwicke was asked to do one thing and that is make some­thing out of noth­ing (I’m talk­ing about prof­its here), and she did exactly that. Little girls may swoon over Twilight whilst their BFs and par­ents groan, but they all paid to sit down and pass judg­ment. With the sequel already planned for Winter 2009/2010, looks like the almighty cha-ching won out this time.

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